On Finding My Spiritual Self

By Michelle Mclean

Crystals. Meditation. Vision Boards. Tarot. Yoga. Journaling. Prayer. Reiki. Breathwork. Fasting. Retreats. Law of attraction. You name it, I’ve probably tried it as part of my journey to become more spiritual.

It’s cliched but I use the word journey deliberately. I went from one thing to another, in a constant state of movement, trying to reach the intangible destination of ‘spirituality.’

I read the recommended books, set intentions and formed rituals. But there was always something else to try.  Another book to read. Another practice to adopt.  It became hard to keep up.

Meditate, check. Gratitude list, check. Journaling, check…. and that was all before getting out of bed in the mornings. Then there was the lunchtime walk in nature, evening yoga and periods of silence, amongst other things. I had a growing spiritual to-do list and a sense of guilt on the days that I didn’t tick it all off.

Practises such as sage smudging and chanting ohm were growing in popularity but these were practises that I didn’t fully understand and that risked appropriation. This spirituality thing wasn’t just about having fun trying something I’d seen on instagram, there was a responsibility to do some deep work and learning.

Social media perpetuated a hierarchy of the divine and the devotional. That seemed to me, the very antithesis of spirituality. And what happens in the gaps between the zen activities? Could I only consider myself spiritual if I was sat inside my copper pyramid or lying in savasana on my yoga mat? Surely a spiritual life is a continuous thing, not something to dip in and out of.

Over time I have found what works for me and I’ve redefined my understanding of spirituality. For me it’s a sense of interconnectedness, trusting in my own intuition and tapping into my gifts and talents so that they can best serve me and others.

Meditation, yoga and crystals may all have their place but I know that without these things, I am still a spiritual being. I don’t need special texts or tools to connect to a higher power, I just need to be still for a while. The same goes for my intuition – I already have everything I need, its just a case of consciously tapping into it.

I realise that everything I do is my spiritual life. Being authentic and present in my work, hobbies and relationships is just one of the ways that I can honor my spirituality.

With that being said, my intuition has been nagging me to make some changes lately but I’ve been too busy to listen. So I’m off to sit in my copper pyramid to meditate on it.

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